I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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