You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
