i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
