I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
