Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
