My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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