im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize