He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
