I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
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