it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
