New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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