ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
