adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
