Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize