someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
