i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
