So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
