i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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