im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
someone owes me an orgasm
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
