i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
