You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
