I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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