OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
