Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
