hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
