in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
