True but thats because hes a fetus.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
