Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
