The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
