is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize