i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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