You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
