he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
