where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
