the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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