Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
