if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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