Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
