I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
