can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
