Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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