just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
