In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
