what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
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