He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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