You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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