His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize