Is it because I queefed?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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