we're blogging at a bar
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
where am i from again
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize