I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
