I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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