just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
