i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
