playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
