It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
