I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
