my mouth tastes like poor choices
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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