Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
