You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
