Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
