somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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