Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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