drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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